True intimacy (Sunday homily)

 That first reading is surprising:

Do you and I talk to God this way?

“You duped me!” I am miserable because of You!

If you think about it, that’s a conversation

between two who are very close.

That’s intimacy.

“Intimate” means what is most personal and private;

what is closest to who we really are.

So “intimacy” is sharing that with someone else;

it’s when we feel free and safe doing that.

Jeremiah felt free and safe to yell at God!

Now, “intimacy” is often used to describe

a physical relationship: acts pertaining to marriage.

But if we primarily associate intimacy with those physical acts,

that can lead to some misunderstandings.

Where does that leave a close friendship, or the intimacy of siblings, 

or the closeness we want to have with our parents or children?

What about intimacy with God – 

as Jeremiah had, and as the Apostles were drawn into by Jesus?

This is a point I make with couples when they are engaged.

Our society takes for granted that a couple will get physical.

Waiting till marriage may sound like an outmoded idea,

but the danger is that focusing on one aspect 

can cause many other important avenues to be neglected, 

which are the broader dimensions of true intimacy.

The more threads of intimacy a couple develops,

The stronger their marriage, 

especially when facing inevitable stresses.

When you think about it, it’s obvious that intimacy 

in the truest sense goes so far beyond the physical. 

It’s a sharing of all that matters most.

This experience is what is nourishing and life-giving, 

both in our friendships and our families,

 and of course, all this is a reflection of the intimacy 

we can have with God, who is our source and our hope.

Our souls thirst for God.

So much addiction and unhappiness come from 

feeding that thirst with paltry substitutes.

I submit there is a crisis of intimacy in our time.

Many people report not really having close friendships.

Sustaining this intimacy is a huge issue in married life.

I know, because married people tell me so.

Folks my age spend 3-4 hours a day online, on average.

For those 16-24? It’s six hours, sometimes more.

The Internet is a great tool but can be an illusion.

The practical remedy is almost too simple: 

Put down the phone and have old-fashioned face-time.

A regular date-night with your spouse.

Play touch football or a game of cards with family or friends.

Give yourself silence with God. 

Look at what’s happening in the Gospel. 

Jesus is drawing the Apostles, Peter in particular, into intimacy.

Notice the Lord shares the “inside story” of his plan for saving us, 

and he describes how it will involve a terrible cost: his own life. 

Peter draws back, he isn’t ready for that.

But Jesus insists:

If you want to know me, walk with me, this is the path.

What he says to Peter, he says to you and me:

You can’t know Christ without his Cross.

Intimacy isn’t just about good stuff, the fun stuff,

without the deeper stuff, without pain and cost.

Real relationships and deep joy require gift and, yes, risk.

St. Paul speaks of making ourselves a “living sacrifice.”

Can you put yourself out there as an offering to another?

It is risky, it is costly; but is it worth it? You tell me.

Is it worth it having a close friend, a life-partner?

Having a sacred space of trust and safety?

This points to the true heart of the Gospel, the part many miss.

Our Faith isn’t just a series of beliefs.

Jesus comes to welcome us to intimacy 

only a Creator and creature can have. 

This is where personal prayer and time with God is essential.

And reconciliation and working things out in confession.

Nothing is more personal. 

And no one can do it for you. 

You must respond to his invitation yourself.