Saturday, September 16, 2006

The true history of the spread of Islam

Sadly, all was peaceful and a garden of delights for the peaceful prophet and his followers until suddenly, one day in the 7th century, the armies of Byzantium, led by the pope, landed at Acre and marched to Arabia, and at the point of the sword, demanded the prophet (blessed be he!) comply to their outrageous demands. The peaceloving followers of the great prophet gathered around to witness the shocking scene:

"You are the prophet of Islam?"

"Yes."

"We demand that you invade our lands; form armies and sweep across North Africa; then we will gladly renounce our faith and become Muslim," bellowed Pope Leo the Great.

"Oh, but that would be intolerable . . . I wish only to pray here, seeking inner purity and peace with the Almighty..."

"Then you shall die, and all your contemptible, peace-loving people," threatened the Emperor Constantine.

"Oh, no, that is horrible!"

"Then you must comply: conquer us, and we shall happily convert."

"Oh, goodness, what shall I do? North Africa, you say?"

"And the Levant -- it is intolerable that you would fail to invade the land of Jesus' life, death and resurrection," insisted Emperor Justinian.

"Oh, the insolence! Anything else, you wicked intruders?"

"Yes--you must also then seek to destroy the Christian power of Constantinople, and conquer it. You must desecrate the Hagia Sophia..."

"Oh, no! No! I will not listen to this! It is unspeakable!"

"You will listen," growled General Belisarius. "You will conquer the Empire--and then, you will invade Europe..."

"But, but I could never do that--it would take so long..."

"Centuries."

"This is intolerable. Kill me if you must; I cannot embrace any violence."

"Very well; and when we have slain you, we shall slay all around you--to the last--unless you comply with our demands," Charlemagne decreed, as Baldwin, Louis and Richard all nodded vigorously.

The prophet (peace be upon him!) contemplated, not his own terrible fate, but that of the tens of thousands around him, who knew no violence, nor even the use of a weapon. For they were but like children, innocent and unknowing any evil desire. But under the intense, cruel pressure of the Christian invaders, he allowed them to guide his people in the fashioning and mastering of weapons.

And so it was, some months later, that large groupings of peace-loving Muslims were marched--at the point of Crusader swords --out of Arabia, to sweep across the Levant, North Africa, and into Asia Minor. Behold the tragic scene! These reluctant warriors, weeping as they went, scandalized that the wicked Christians forced them to invade and conquer!

Even more terrible was the sight of Christians, as the coerced invaders were marched westward, who approached the conscripts, and actually threw themselves upon the scimitars. "No, don't do this! Islam is about peace! Let us set up an information center, and then we can go home!"

"Fa! Shut up, infidels! Do not prevent us from self-destruction!" And so it was, in city after city, Christians died by the scimitar, the wretched, peace-loving Islamic armies unwilling participants, and out of compassion for the misguided Christians, decided to stay.

21 comments:

Deacon Jim said...

Did you write for Monty Python? Pretty good parody.

Only pretty good, because unfortunately some would believe it.

DigiHairshirt said...

A woman I know took umbrage at the quote said by the Pope. I reminded her that Mohammed basically took what he liked from Judaism and Christianity and added . . . jihad. I don't think the quote was all that inaccurate.

Ray from MN said...

Thanks, Father!

I needed a smile after a couple of very depressing days.

Sadly, some will believe your version of history. Most, of course, believe whatever they are told of history because they have never learned any.

Sharon said...

ROFL - thank you father!

Fidei Defensor said...

great post Father!

St. Michael the Archangel said...

Thanks Father! I needed a good laugh, to the terrorists I say this "Vade Retro Satana".

MrsDarwin said...

*snerk*

That's pretty funny, Father!

Chucko said...

Hehehe... great indeed! Nice work Father. May the Lord keep you safe from adherents to the Religion of Peace (TM).

Field Marshall Dodge said...

This is great! Catholics should take the moral high ground here because they have never used violent coercion.

Nârwen said...

Field Marshall Dodge:
Muslims are using violent coercion now, not hundreds of years ago. Also, Christian use of such methods was, at the worst, in fits and starts, whereas Islam has a nearly constant history of using conquest to spread.
Finally, when Christians of any kind used, or use, violent coercion, it often fits very uneasily with their beliefs. There are sections of the Koran, however, which lend themselves to persecuting 'unbelievers' without the kind of 'Scripture twisting'.

Nârwen said...

that violent Christians have had recourse to....
Christ, unlike Mohammed, was not a warlord - except to the powers of Hell.

Field Marshall Dodge said...

Muslims are using violent coercion now, not hundreds of years ago.

The scenario's an imaginary conversation involving icons from hundreds of years ago.

Also, Christian use of such methods was, at the worst, in fits and starts, whereas Islam has a nearly constant history of using conquest to spread.

So your argument is "They do it more than us, so we should have a clean conscience?" Pot calling the kettle blacker, I guess.

Finally, when Christians of any kind used, or use, violent coercion, it often fits very uneasily with their beliefs. There are sections of the Koran, however, which lend themselves to persecuting 'unbelievers' without the kind of 'Scripture twisting'.

Or maybe you're saying it's more excusable when it's off the books? If anything, it's a bit more noble to spell it out instead of saying "well, Christ obviously wouldn't approve, but we'll do it anyway! Where's my infidel-burning kit?"

I am not for a minute suggesting that modern Catholicism is nasty or brutal like modern Islam. Modern Catholicism is great. I am suggesting, however, that Father Fox's piece is false in that it suggests that the Roman Catholic Church has never even considered engaging in such practices.

Father Martin Fox said...

Yes, it is true that irony is a subtle art; far too subtle to explain in many cases.

Either you get it; or you don't.

religion of pieces said...

HISTORY ACCORDING TO THE BBC

1272 BCE First illegal occupation of Palestine by Zionists.

877 BCE Stone-throwing Zionist youth incites hooligan attack on Palestinian fact-finding mission.

370 BCE Second illegal occupation of Palestine by Zionists.

70 CE Roman peacekeepers unable to prevent mobs of Zionists destroying the Temple in Jerusalem.

732 CE. Charles Martel brutally dispersed a group of peaceful anti-Zionist demonstrators outside Tours.

1453 CE Constantinople sit-in by activists.

1529 CE Vienna picketed by militants.

1683 CE Vienna picketed again by descendents of previous pickets.

1948 CE Third illegal occupation of Palestine by Zionists.

1967 CE Six day vigil by anti-Zionist protestors.

2001 CE Twin towers reconfigured by individuals.

2004 CE Epidemic of gang rape in Sweden. Males thought to be responsible.

2005 CE Disruption of London Transport by victims of Zionism.


Seriously though...

Twenty facts about Islam every infidel should know. (And which the Pope probably already knows, see http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-religion/1553225/posts )

Islam ...

1) Is a mind-control and information-control cult founded by a murderer, torturer, brigand, rapist and pedophile called Mohammed. The mind-control and information-control aspects require that all criticism be silenced.

2) Is Mohammed's personality cult. Has no foundations other than Mo's murderous rantings (Koran and Hadith). The Koran consists of two conflicting parts - Meccan and Medinan (peaceful and violent respectively). The Medinan stuff supersedes ('abrogates') the Meccan stuff. Muslims act Medinan, but quote Meccan verses to the gullible infidels.

3) Claims to worship the same God as Christians and Jews, but in fact worships Allah - a demonic channelling through Mohammed's psychopathic ego. The Death Cult mixes garbled versions of Christian and Jewish scriptures with pagan practices such as moon and meteorite-worship, and cut-throat blood sacrifice of animals and non-believers.

4) Has no rational, philosophical nor theological basis, and the whole belief-system is contradicted by science, philosophy, commonsense, human decency and internal inconsistency.

5) Cannot withstand rational criticism. Can only spread and maintain itself by ignorance, illiteracy, war, terrorism, and intimidation. Islam has bloody borders and cannot co-exist peacefully with other belief systems. Winston Churchill said that Islam in a man is as dangerous as hydrophobia (rabies) in a dog.

6) Has a superstitious dread of images of pigs, crosses, Buddhas, Saint George (and his flag) and of course Motoons.

7) Regards Islamic women as semihuman. Wife-beating, incest and child abuse (including mufa’khathat or 'thighing' - the ritual abuse of infants) are encouraged.

8) Regards all unbelievers (Kaffirs, Kuffar, Kufrs, Kafirs) as ritually unclean subhumans to be killed, subjugated, enslaved, exploited or parasitised. Kafirs are described by the Arabic word 'najis' - literally 'filth'. That's why Muslim hatred of Kafirs is intrinsic to their 'religion'. A Kafir doesn't need to DO anything to offend a Muslim, his very existence is enough of an affront.

9) The ethical system applies only to Muslims. Allah encourages rape, pillage, extortion and enslavement of non-Muslims. Morality does not extend beyond the global gang (ummah). Muslim ethics are the ethics of the Mafia.

10) Allah's followers are motivated by hatred, greed and lust. There is no love, mercy or compassion. Allah is vindictive, unpredictable, capricious and devious - "Allah leads astray whom he pleases".

11) The only religion NOT founded on The Golden Rule. Morality is based on Mohammed's example. If Mohammed did it then it's OK for all Muslims. Hence the encouragement of rape, pillage, subjugation and murder of non-believers and the institutionalised pedophilia prevalent throughout Muslim society (justified by Mohammed's activities with Ayesha, his child sex-slave - see and listen to http://islamcomicbook.com/lyrics1.htm).

12) All human relations are defined by Dominance/Subjugation. Muslims have schizoid inferiority/superiority complexes. (A well-balanced Muslim is one with a chip on each shoulder). They respect strength but despise compromise as weakness. Appeasement invites more aggression. The only political system which has been strong enough to subjugate Islam is Stalinism.

13) Polygamy ensures alpha-males get extra women, leading to a shortage of women for the betas. Beta-males must either jerk off (a sin leading to hell), or form dog-packs and rape or capture kafir women as booty in a razzia, or else self-destruct in the presence of infidels then they can screw 72 mythical virgins in Allah's bordello in the sky (see and listen to http://islamcomicbook.com/lyrics3.htm). Beta-males are often encouraged by their relatives to become suicide bombers because of the belief that such murderous 'martyrs' will be able to intercede with Allah to take 70 of their relatives to paradise with them.

14) Lying and deception of infidels (taqiyya) is encouraged. This may take many forms, including outright lies, feigned moderation, and condemnation of terrorist attacks to the Kaffir while rejoicing with fellow Muslims. All Muslims need to regard themselves as victims of some group of Kafirs so they can harbor grudges against them and against Kafirs in general. Individuals may appear law-abiding and reasonable, but they are part of a totalitarian movement, and must be considered potential killers who can flip in an instant (SJS -'Sudden Jihad Syndrome').

15) Muslims are forbidden to befriend Kaffirs except for purposes of deceit or where conversion may be possible.

16) The Koran is Allah's final word and cannot be changed or challenged. To do so is punishable by death. Consequently, the Death Cult can never change or be reformed. The instructions to murder and rape infidels are just as valid now as the day they were written. Since Islam cannot be modernised, the Muslims are attempting to Islamise modernity. This requires spreading Islam in the West and simultaneously preventing any criticism of the cult by intimidation and PC legislation to curtail freedom of expression.

17) Treaties and agreements with Kaffirs are made to be broken (Hudna). The word of a Muslim to a Kafir counts for nothing in the eyes of Allah. Allah is The Father Of Lies.

18) The world is divided between Dar-al-Islam and Dar-al-Harb (the domain of war, the Kufr lands). Muslims living in Dar-al-Harb must work to disrupt their host nations until these can be brought into Dar-al-Islam.

19) Muslims have no obligation to their host nations and in fact are encouraged to parasitise them. Welfare fraud, identity theft, forgery etc are endemic in Western Muslim populations, and serious crime against Kaffirs is regarded as normal and justified. Extortion rackets against Kafirs are mandated by the Koran ('jizya' is the Arabic term for 'protection money' payable by Jews and Christians to Muslims).

20) The attack on the host nation isn't just against its religion and economy, but is aimed at its very cultural identity. Islam is a complete system, including a culture, which Muslims regard as superior (despite all evidence to the contrary) to other cultures. Muslims are therefore required to destroy the symbols of 'Jahiliya' (sometimes sp. Jahiliyya) - non-Muslim culture. In the East this has included destruction of Hindu temples and Christian churches and replacement with mosques, and destruction of Buddhist artwork and universities and replacement with heaps of rubble. This process of cultural replacement is now beginning in the West..

Orange_Cross said...

Once upon a time there was a man named Jesus Christ, he told people to love their fellow. He was compassionate and able to appeal to some peoples' compassion, unfortunately he did not appeal to everyone. Nevertheless, he loved his fellows to the end, and though he had some regret for the barbarity of some of them, he was content that his life of pacifism was fulfilled. He was executed via crucifixion. Everyone else died also.

Chucko said...

Once upon a time there was a blog poster named orange_cross, who believed he could sum up the story of Jesus Christ in a simple paragraph, started with a fairy tale verse. Sometimes there's more complexity to life than cute summaries and innuendos. We are all inclined, as good Christians, to seek peace first. If war or violence seeks us, then we have no choice other than respond or parish.

Subimonk said...

Respond or perish, I think you mean, chucko. We already are flush with parishes.
I'm so tired of Christians who have swallowed the politically correct version of Christian history (Field Marshal Dodge) whose purpose is to show that Christianity is not a divinely founded religion, but just another example of human perversity, thus engageing in wars and genocide for the sake of its misunderstood gospel.
Islam is the enemy of Christ. Always has been and always will be. Thanks, Fr. Fox for the delicious irony of your posting.

Mark Anthony said...

LOL, Chucko! "Parish" for "perish"! Nice turn of phrase to make your point. Very subtle, sir! You have a great wit.

For a moment there, I thought you were serious about the call to nonviolence and peace being binding on Christians only until it becomes inconvenient or risky. Obviously, such a position could only be expressed as a satirically overbroad parody.

You are a genius!

Trotsky said...

Peaceful Catholics, always remember that though you may not be interested in Jihad, JIHAD IS INTERESTED IN YOU!!!!

Chucko said...

Ahhhh the mockery... mocked here, mocked and called a fascist on my own blog.

I apologize directly to Mark Anthony for not having the time to post a lengthy treatise on my exact views. Having made the mistake of assuming we're all adults here, I've since learned better. In the future, I shall try to post something a little more in depth, or nothing at all. Thank you subimonk for politely correcting my errant typing. :)

Chucko said...

By the way, Mark Anthony, your suggestion that Christians are not allowed to defend themselves appears to be invalid.