(Cue fireworks and oompa band...)
Congratulations, you are the 100,000th visitor to the Bonfire of the Vanities!
(Cue sound of crowd roaring...)
I don't know you're name, but:
* You live in or near Aurora, Illinois (isn't that the home of those two great theologians, Wayne and Garth?)
* You came here from the Shrine of the Holy Whapping!, and...
* You stayed for one second!
Thanks for visiting Bonfire of the--hold it, he's gone already, oh well . . .
Party on, Wayne! Party on, Garth!