What's love got to do with it? (Sunday homily)

 Jeremiah had to do it, and so did Jesus.

That is, they had to say things that upset people.

But the reason they did it wasn’t just to stir the pot.

It was out of love for the people who needed to be woken up.

 

So, before you get into an argument with someone – especially online – ask this question: 

how is what I am saying fundamentally about loving this person I’m talking to?

You could even start that way. Instead of leading with, “you’re wrong!”

Begin with, “because I care about you, I want to say thus-and-so…”

Ah, but that takes more work:

you and I have to stop and process that question: 

what has love got to do with whatever I’m going to say? 

See, everything you and I stand for, as Catholics – 

everything we get beat up for believing – is about love.

God’s love for us, and a proper love on our part for each other.

So, for example, consider what we say about marriage.

That, in turn, is directly related to what a man is, what a woman is.

Sexual love is properly shared between a husband and a wife. 

There is another love – it’s called friendship – 

which is proper for two men, and for two women.

Yet another love that is proper being parents and children,

and between brothers and sisters. 

So, consider the popular slogan: “love is love.”

That makes people feel good, but that is actually a lie.

The love of married couples is NOT the same as love between siblings.

And lying is never the loving thing to do.

Here’s the hard truth no one wants to say:

Because men and women are different – 

they complement each other, but they are not interchangeable – 

then, when two people of the same sex attempt marriage,

there are some essential things that are missing.

And people will say, oh those don’t matter. 

But we know that’s not true, because many same-sex couples themselves go looking, 

outside their relationship, for precisely those missing elements.

So, we all saw a picture of the Secretary of Transportation, 

Pete Buttigieg, with his “husband” and two newborn children.

Everyone said, how wonderful!

But what was intentionally excluded from that happy picture? 

The mother of those children. 

Men need women to compensate for their weaknesses, 

and women need men for the same reason.

If you are wondering what love is: it is to seek the good of the other.

And again, a hard truth: the good of you, the good of me, 

is rarely “self-fulfillment.” The true good I need is self-DENIAL.

So, when you or I just nod and go along with today’s false values,

that is easier, but how is that the loving thing to do?

So many people say, I’ll just create my own reality.

That sounds great, but it’s an illusion. 

After 80, 90, 100 or so years, we all die,

and then we face Ultimate and Unyielding Reality.

Then, either our choices in this life prepared us for God’s Reality, 

and then we will be happy forever!

Or else, our choices shaped us at cross-purposes to God’s Reality, 

and that means eternal misery.

Yes, these are hard things to say, and people may not accept them.

But remember when Jesus said the tough things he did, 

at the same time, he was planning to die on the Cross, 

for the people to whom he spoke.