Tuesday, June 17, 2008

What I'm doing today

It's been a lighter day...when school is out, things calm down.

I've handled a lot of calls, normal for Tuesdays, and I've met with several staff members about various things.

I wrote my column for the bulletin, and also edited some handouts to provide to parishioners; one gives resources for anyone struggling with chastity issues--pornography, addiction, same-sex attraction or simply saving oneself for marriage, the other provides resources for alcoholism, drug- or gambling-addiction. We keep them in the confessional, both for those coming to confession or simply so people can duck in and get one if they want it.

That said, I'd like to create a handout on anger as well. I say this, because so many people tell me they struggle with anger, and I wonder what I can offer as practical help. Any suggestions, please include in comments.

In a bit, I'll walk back home--such a nice day, no reason to drive, it's only 3/4 of a mile--and have Mass, then dinner, and I have a meeting to drop in on.

A light day.


Osgood said...

Wow, if thats a light day, whats a busy day like?

Mephibosheth said...


I love that you provide those kind of resources to your parishioners, so that confession is more than "Ego te absolvo". That's the most important thing spiritually, but then where do we go from there?

As you can read from my sole blog post in May, I am in recovery from a number of addictions. I attend meetings through Celebrate Recovery, which uses the 12 Steps and the 8 "Recovery Principles"--aka the Beatitudes. At CR, we even have attenders whose "primary recovery issue" (that is, biggest hang-up or addiction) is anger. The thing is, the recovery principles are the same, whether your "substance" is alcohol, drugs, sexual behavior, or rage. It's about admitting you have no control (step 1), turning your life over to the care of God (step 3), seeking His will above all things (step 11), etc.

So rage-aholics (and that's probably one of my issues too) might find support through groups like CR. Also, Co-Dependents Anonymous or Al-Anon, since those groups often focus on adult children of dysfunctional families, or people with a need to control.

I used to struggle with the fact that Courage even uses the 12 Steps as part of its recovery from same-sex attraction, because I had difficulty accepting that SSA by itself was an addiction (some people with SSA have never "acted out"). But the 12 steps and similar principles aren't just for addicts as we typically think of them, but for anyone who struggles with something they have no control over.

God bless you, Father, for all the ways you sacrifice for your flock.


Adrienne said...

As a recovering alcoholic (almost 19 years) I know that the most dangerous emotions for us are anger and resentment.

Reading the book Alcoholics Anonymous (the "Big Book") or Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (the "12 x 12) could give you some insights.

Or if you want the simplified version, visit my blog where I have been doing The Twelve Steps for Catholics.

Anonymous said...

Hey Father,

One of my big things was being able to identify justifiable anger/unjustifiable anger and the appropriate responses.

Such as, it would be justifiable to be angered that someone cheated you.

Also, a priest once told me that to be able to master our emotions and responses takes time. If we are hot tempered, we practice cooling off before spewing.
If we are easily angered, we practice the opposite and ask for it in our prayers also. Having prayers to say during the times we are tempted help to. Also being able to identify each.


Elizabeth said...

I would love to read those handouts and would find one on anger very helpful, including when it's a sin that should be confessed and when it isn't. I've gotten varied responses in the confessional. If you ever get a chance, I'd love to see a post on confession in general -- the proper form, how to confess your venial sins and so on. I keep you in my prayers, Father.

ignorant redneck said...

please post your handouts!

Luke Gilkerson said...

Thanks for reaching out to people who are struggling through addictive patterns of behavior.

I work with those who struggle with porn addiction. I'm curious: have you heard of the Covenant Eyes accountability program? What makes it unique is that it gives you the option to simply monitor your Internet surfing, filter it, or both. A good filtering program is very helpful for children and families, but a good monitoring program is great for adults and children alike who want to be accountable to others about where they go online.

We offer a unique “accountability software” program for those who are ensnared by Internet pornography. The software isn't a filter; it simply monitors where someone goes online, scoring websites for objectionable content, and sending a regular report to accountability partners of that person's choosing. Tens of thousands have started using our software in the last 8 years and have testified to how building deeper, more vulnerable accountability partnerships has set them free from the grip of pornography. The software has been a helpful for many to build self-control with their online use—the software is a constant reminder that their choices online will affect them and others they love.

If you want some more info about Covenant Eyes, please let me know.

Luke Gilkerson
Internet Community Manager

"I have made a covenant with my eyes" (Job 31:1)

Anonymous said...

Food addiction help out there, anyone?