Sunday, March 19, 2006

They're suing the wrong people...

Sooner or later, I fear this is going to work:

Food Industry a Target in Obesity Fight

It's probably already "worked," in that the shark lawyers and their pathetic clients have probably extorted settlements and unreported goodies already.

"It's tempting to blame big food companies for America's big obesity problem. After all, they're the folks who Supersized our fries, family-portioned our potato chips and Big Gulped our sodas."

But later, the AP article sagely observes, "How much of that burden of blame belongs to the food industry can be difficult to answer."

Well, that's obvious, isn't it?

There are three "culprits" -- well, four, if you like. These are who the lawyers should go after (in reverse order of culpability):

The serpent: he set out to tempt Adam and Eve, and succeeding in it, introduced into the human race the critical problem of concupiscence -- the human propensity to eat, eat, and eat some more.

Eve: she entertained the conversation with the serpent;

Adam: he was the one whom God instructed regarding the forbidden tree, and yet stood by, wordlessly, as the serpent led his mate down the garden path;

God: it was his decision to make everything, well, to quote that unheralded theologian, Homer Simpson, "so tasty!"


Claire in Virginia said...

Actually Father, Homer Simpson would say, "mmmmmm...donuts." ;o)

Bernard Brandt said...

Were it not for the fact that in Anglo-American law, one cannot bring a lawsuit against one's self, I would say that the proper defendants in such suits would be their own fat and fatuous selves.